Breaking up with someone is a difficult time. Circumstances are always different for every breakup, but no matter what there will be a flood of differing emotions. One moment you may feel upset and the next relieved, happy and then sad, lonely and then free.
It may take quite awhile to get back to feeling normal after breaking up. When you see your ex, there will probably be a flood of emotions that come over you. If you and your ex run into each other, it is natural to ask each other how you are doing. It can be confusing, awkward, and leave you wondering what to say.
So how do you respond to an ex asking how you are doing? It is up to you how you want to proceed, and it probably does vary a lot depending on how the relationship ended. For the most part you will either want to be back together with your ex, you will want to try and be friends with your ex, or you will want nothing to do with your ex.
If your ex asks how you are doing by texting or messaging you, this whole conversation can go down much easier. It can be a little harder to read people sometimes through messages, but being rejected is also easier through your phone than it is in person. If the interaction happens in person, body language will be helpful in seeing the person’s reaction to your conversation.
You Want To Get Back Together With Your Ex
If you run into your ex, still have feelings, and want to get back with them, consider letting them know. You may not get another opportunity and even if you are rejected, at least you gave it a try. At the same time, it is best to not come off as desperate to get back together. Having a positive attitude is best.
Responding with “I am doing great. How are you?” or even a flirtier “I am good, and you look just as great as the last time I saw you” can be great opening lines that invite further conversation.
The best thing to do is listen to their responses (and study their body language if in person). If they are not reciprocating much, it is best to leave it at that and say your goodbyes.
However if they seem interested in having a conversation, that is a good sign. Keep it going and see if they give up any information about whether they are dating someone new.
If it continues going well, you can say something like “I really miss you” or “Do you still think about me? I think about you.”
Remember though, there is a chance that you may be rejected or it may get awkward.
You Want To Be Friends With Your Ex
Some people are better as friends than they are in a relationship. If you enjoyed spending time with your ex and feel like you could be good friends, it could be a good idea to see how they feel about the idea.
Responding to them with “I’m great! How have you been?” or “Life is so busy but I’m happy. I hope you’re great also.” invite further conversation.
Listen to their responses (and study their body language if the meeting is in person). If they are continuing the conversation, this is a good sign that they are interested in you and may want to spend more time with you. If they do not seem into the conversation, you can assume that they are not interested in talking with or hanging out with you.
If the response was positive, this is where it gets a little more difficult. You just want to be friends without dating again. If they want to get back together, this can complicate things greatly. Make sure you are clear about your intentions.
Saying something like “My friends and I are hanging out later. I would love for you to come too.” or “I miss our conversations. Maybe we can try and be friends?”
Try not to take it too hard if you are told no. They may still be upset about the breakup or they may not want to be just friends.
You Want Nothing To Do With Them
If you are completely uninterested in your ex, it is much simpler since you do not really care what their response will be. You can stop to chat with them having no expectations or you can just ignore them completely if you like. If you do speak with your ex, you do run the risk of them trying to get back together with you or wanting to be friends. Hey maybe they even took some tips from earlier in this article!
If you do not want to respond, just don’t! A text or message from your ex is easy to ignore. If you see them in person, you may feel rude to not say anything. However, you really just don’t have to say anything.
A simple “I’m good thanks” is a way to let them know that you are not interested in them or continuing the interaction. A terse response like this comes off as rude, so be prepared that the person could be upset and say something rude or mean to you.
It is perfectly fine to have a conversation with your ex, even if you do not want any further interactions afterwards. Even when you have had an upsetting breakup, after time has passed you will probably be interested in your former partner’s life. If you do want to talk to them, saying “I have been really great and I hope you have been too” lets your ex know that you have no hard feelings. If they ask to hang out or anything, you just have to tell them no.
Responding to an ex that asks how you are doing can throw your brain into overdrive. You may be overcome with emotions and be seriously confused about what to do and how to respond. Whatever you choose, make sure that you do what makes you happy.
