Have you ever heard the saying “Actions speak louder than words”? Most people will agree that this is very true in relationships, friendships, and with family members. You may feel that your partner is saying all the right things but is not treating you right. This can be an upsetting truth to come to terms with in your relationship. It is so true though – a man that loves you will show you that he does, not just say he does.
There is a stereotype that men are not great with expressing their emotions or showing their love with words. (This is not true for all men of course.) It feels great when your boyfriend or husband says that he loves you. However when he says the words but does not follow up these words with actions that show his love you will be left frustrated and confused.
Some actions that women may be looking for in a partner are supporting your family, helping with cleaning, being there for your kids, being a friend that she can vent to and look to for thoughtful suggestions, defending her honor, supporting her career, spending free time with her, speaking kindly, and being respectful.
Not Spending Time Together
With busy everyday lives, you and your partner may not have as much time to spend together. It is so important to make some time to be with each other though. Connecting and bonding can help you feel like your partner is there for you and cares about you.
If most of your partner’s free time is spent with his friends or doing his own activities or hobbies, you may grow resentful. Your partner may be exhausted, tired, and stressed and feel the need to relax. That is perfectly fine, but not if it is to the detriment of your relationship. You also most likely feel exhausted, tired, and stressed, so it is not fair for you to feel like you have to take on the household and child rearing alone.
If you are dating and do not live together, a man that does not make time for you is definitely a red flag. Loving someone means that you want to spend time with them. Even if that only means texts or a video chat, a man will make the time for a woman that he really does love. Telling you he loves you and then not seeing or talking with you for days at a time gives a really clear message of what he really thinks.
Not Helping With Household or Expenses
Having income is important of course so that all the household bills are paid. Many times both spouses must work to be able to afford everything. With both people busy with work, it is important that the household chores are split in a way that is acceptable for both parties. In addition, child care, pet care, house maintenance, financial management, and cooking are very important things that must be worked out..
If one spouse is having to take care of most of these things, they will burn out, be upset, and feel used and unappreciated. If your partner loves you, they will make sure to do their part so that things are evenly split.
Disrepecting You And Not Being Supportive
Your partner should treat you with love and respect. Most know that yelling, cursing, and physical violence are huge red flags. However not everyone thinks about other ways a person can be disrespected.
Your needs and wants are important. If your partner does not take you into account, something is not right. When you have goals to accomplish or things you want to try, your partner should be supportive of you. If your spouse says he loves you but talks down or does not push you forward in your dreams, you deserve more.
Another way of disrespecting is to subtly put down your goals, dreams, career, etc. You have probably experienced a person being rude to you. When it is your partner though, it hurts that much more and is very unacceptable.
There are many other scenarios where you can feel disrespected and not supported. The main point is that if you do not feel right about how you are being treated, there is an issue.
Talking With Other Women or Cheating
This one is pretty obvious but it should be mentioned. Technology has made it much easier to meet new people and keep in contact with people from your past. It can be difficult to tell if someone is actually cheating since usually they will not outright tell you.
If you are in a monogamous relationship and find out your partner cheats or is talking to other people, that is very wrong. He can say he loves you all he wants, but his actions are showing that he does not. A person that loves you will not cheat on you or talk with other people while in a relationship with you.
If your spouse says he loves you but his actions say something different, this does not mean the relationship has to be over. It means that communication needs to be improved upon. It means you both need to consider each other’s needs. It means you need to be considerate of each other.
Breakups are difficult, but if attempts to improve the relationship do not work that may be the best option. There ARE men out there that will treat you right, and you will find love again.
